Perhaps you feel out of balance right now, torn back and forth or inwardly restless. Before you try to “fix” this quickly, a gentle look at the cause is worthwhile: Are you drawn between two pairs of opposites? Are you resisting something in the outside world, or one of your emotions? Are your doing and your contemplating in balance, your yin and yang energies? Or is it something else entirely?
For exactly these moments I would like to introduce you to the third of my favourite meditations by Phyllis Krystal: the exercise with the black and white birds, which she describes in her book “Cutting the Ties that Bind”. There are also a workbook and a wonderful card set to go with her books, for pictures speak directly with the subconscious: at first you go through the exercise like a guided meditation, later a glance at the picture is enough.
The exercise with the black and white birds
Summarised in my own words, it goes like this: Imagine you are walking across a tightrope, carefully placing one foot in front of the other, looking straight ahead. You hold your arms out to each side, palms open and facing up.
To your left, a black bird appears, and you fear it may attack you. Resist the impulse to push it away, for exactly that would make you fall off the rope. Simply keep walking. To your right appears a beautiful, gleaming white bird. Resist the desire to reach out and take hold of it, for that too would throw you off balance. Continue your way across the rope, and allow both birds to alight on your open palms whenever they wish.
The exercise trains an attitude of acceptance towards all the pairs of opposites in life: good and bad, happy and unhappy, pain and pleasure, praise and blame. Whoever accepts what life brings onto their path finds peace. It works best when you practise it once a day.
A deep thought lies behind this: the opposites are the two ends of the same energy, and each side carries a value. To deny sadness would be to deny compassion, for sadness carves the hollows in the soul that enable us to feel deeper empathy, and it provides the impetus for change. Joy follows it as a stabilising force. So instead of holding on to one side and pushing the other away, you can ask: what value does the quality that is showing itself right now bring me?
What the observer has to do with it
This exercise trains your inner observer, who notices and accepts your imbalance without judgment, without preferences and without jumping straight into correction. You know your observer is active when you say: “I notice I am feeling really upset”, instead of: “I am so upset!”
Being with your observer usually brings you back into a calm space by itself. From there you can choose the right action to come back into balance, and this correction then comes from your inner knowing instead of a hasty impulse to fix things fast. In yoga you can train this quality in any practice, whether you watch yourself in the physical postures, in breathing exercises or in meditation, and over time also in the middle of everyday life, in situations and conversations.
When the observer is in place, three things happen: your mind no longer impresses you, for it is its job to think. You guide your mind, so that it is your servant and not your master. And you willingly surrender it to your Higher Self, so that you act from your inner wisdom instead of from your personality. You can read more in my article on connecting with your Higher Self.
The three meditations by Phyllis Krystal
This exercise is part of a small trio on my blog: for fear, the Star Meditation helps you, and you can listen to it as audio. For stuck thinking, the Hour Glass meditation opens you up to new possibilities. And when you are swaying between opposites, the black and white birds bring you back to your centre.
When the balance keeps tipping
If the same situations keep throwing you off balance, an old pattern in the subconscious usually lies underneath, reacting faster than the observer can watch. This is exactly what I work on in my sessions. If you like, let us meet.
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