Have you ever felt bad after comparing yourself to someone else? Maybe the other person is slimmer, more successful, or seems to have something you lack. A moment ago you were at peace, and suddenly it is gone. Today a few minutes of scrolling are enough for this, for social media is one big comparison machine.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” (Theodore Roosevelt)
Why comparing steals your peace
Comparison with others and competition are variations of judging, of others and of yourself. And judging cannot lead to true inner peace. A Course in Miracles puts it like this: judgment and love are opposites; from one come all the sorrows of the world, from the other comes peace itself.
Whoever lives by comparison and competition feels either superior or inferior to others, or swings constantly between the two. Both are exhausting, and both separate you from people. Whoever stops comparing gains a deep inner peace.
Your worth comes from your being, not your doing
From a spiritual perspective, your self-love and self-worth come from who you are, not from what you do. Many spiritual texts emphasise that human beings are good at their core, created in the image of the Divine, with all its qualities. From this inheritance, every person already has one hundred percent self-worth, you included, and right now, not only after the next success.
What separates us from this are upbringing, social programming and adopted thought patterns, and exactly these we may unlearn again. Spiritual practice helps to uncover the negative thinking and realign you with the good that you already are. You can read more about this foundation in my article on unconditional self-love.
Three ways out of comparing
Compare yourself with yourself. This is the only comparison that moves you forward: work on becoming the best version of yourself. Remember what you have already achieved in your life, and consider writing down each evening what went well today, to reread on weaker days. Also watch lovingly how you speak and think, and note down judgmental and comparative thoughts without judging yourself for them. Awareness is the first step. If you give this pattern your attention for 21 days and resolve the most frequent judgments one by one, you will feel how different your life feels.
Uplift others instead of judging them. When you notice that someone needs support and is open to receive it, be of service. By judging others, in truth you only hurt yourself. Lifting each other up feels better for both sides than any comparison ever won.
Be happy for others. If someone has more than you or seems better off, be happy for them, for you never know the other person’s whole story, and from the outside many things look different from how they feel inside. Being grateful for what the other person has even increases your own power to draw exactly that into your life. So do not count the blessings of others; count your own, and take theirs as inspiration for what is possible for you too.
When the comparing sits deeper
Perhaps you have long known these ways, and still the inner comparer reliably returns. Then an old pattern usually lies underneath, for example the early-learned belief that love depends on achievement. This is exactly what we work on in my Self-Love Seminar: you learn to understand your patterns and receive impulses and exercises for more self-acceptance and inner peace.
You can find all the information about the Self-Love Seminar here: Self-Love-Seminar.
